Mixing love and money can bring about financial conflicts. As it’s the season of love with Valentines Day approaching, I think the topic of money and love is perfect for this month’s post.
Every person should feel safe and secure in their relationship, but security does not only refer to physical security. Financial security is also important. According to numerous studies, money is cited as being one of the top reasons for the breakdown in relationships, leading to divorce.
The Importance of Working Together
Having shared values and similar financial goals in a partnership, prevents arguments about money. If your relationship is getting serious, it’s important to have a conversation about money and how you both view your financial responsibilities. Will you be moving in together? If so, who’s paying for what? By having these discussions at the beginning, it can avoid difficulties later on in the relationship.
What if circumstances change?
Are you both planning on going 50/50 with the household bills? How will the arrival of children in the relationship impact this? Due to the high cost of childcare, it is understandable for one parent to step back from the workforce and take on fulltime caring responsibilities. In the past, it has mainly been women to step back from the workforce to raise the children. That being so, their lack of earnings should not result in less authority over the financial decisions of the family. But in reality, this is not always what happens.
In my role as a financial coach, some women expressed being content with their partners managing all the household bills. Others have discussed a secrecy surrounding their partners finances, with the full details of the family financial position kept from them. Others are given a set allowance each week and are unaware of what happens with the rest of the family income.
Taking on the role of stay-at-home parent should not result in an individual losing access to, or knowledge of, the family finances. Decisions on budgets, household outgoings etc should be made by both individuals in the relationship. If not, there is an imbalance of financial control and power, a significant red flag of financial abuse.
Maintaining Financial Well-Being
It is important for both individuals in a relationship to have the financial freedom to make choices in their life, have control over finances, build financial resilience through savings, and both be working towards the financial goals of the relationship. Through this, each will maintain a strong financial wellbeing and build a secure financial future. You can learn more about the concept of financial wellbeing and how to obtain it from my previous posts.